Hyperdimension Neptivity
by Some Random Tosser
Summary: A story, you wish? Very well, then. Sit down and make yourselves warm. I will tell you a story unlike any other that you have heard...


**Wanna know how long it took me to write this? A bit over one day. You read that right: I started at 8:17 PM on the 23rd of December, 2012 (by the way, has the world ended yet?) and it was finished before Christmas. Take THAT.**

**Now, please indulge yourselves with the story of...**

* * *

**Hyperdimension Neptivity**

No matter what time or dimension it is, Gamindustri is a land of many fantastic stories and more are being made every day. Allow me to share one with you. This is the story of the birth of Gamindustri's saviour...

The saviour was born in a simpler time. Houses were not made from steel but from stone and wood. The clothing of the commoner consisted of tunics and robes rather than the intricately detailed clothing we wear today. Roads were not long lanes of bitumen; they were simply cleared paths. The only way this Gamindustri was more advanced than our own was the fact that horses were used as transport. This is in stark contrast to today in which we get around land entirely by foot and we only use artificial transportation machines when we're going over the sea. Rather backwards, if you ask me.

But I digress. Let us go to a small town called Nepareth. You see, that was where we find one of our main characters; a purple haired virgin girl by the name of Neptune. She was to be married to another woman by the name of Noire. The True Goddess sent a fairy by the name of Histoire to her.

Upon finding her, Histoire greeted Neptune with "Hello there!"

Upon that moment, Neptune screamed and threw a book at the fairy. Did I mention that books were big and heavy back then and we didn't have these computer books?

"Who the haymaker are you?!" the purple-haired girl shouted. "And why were you floating?!"

"C-Calm yourself, please!" Histoire slowly and weakly lifted herself into the air once more. "My name is Histoire. I am a loyal servant of the True Goddess. I was sent here to tell you that she favours you."

Neptune had gotten over her shock and was processing what the celestial being told her. "... Wait. The True Goddess likes me?" she asked with a budding smile. "Well, that's cool! So what do I get? Candy? A new weapon? Do I level up? Oh! Please tell me it's a new supermove! Just zipping around the enemy with Neptune Break gets boring pretty easily. I want something cooler, like my sword transforming into a dragon that breathes purple fire at my enemies."

It was an amazing feat of Histoire to follow Neptune's tangents. I guess that is par for the course with celestial beings. "... No, not at all," answered the fairy. "However, you are correct that she has bestowed upon you a gift. The True Goddess has given you a child that you will bring into the world."

While Histoire was expecting confusion from the young girl, she was of the opinion that twenty seconds was a bit long to be silent. "Um... Neptune?"

"_Whaaaat?!_" Neptune screamed. "How am I preggers?! I've never done any funny stuff with anyone before and especially not a boy! Boys have cooties! Oh no, what am I going to do?! Noirey's noggin's gonna be knockin' for days!"

"Neptune, please!" Histoire shouted. "It is the True Goddess' child. You are still a virgin. Now, this baby will grow up to become the saviour of Gamindustri, ruling over it benevolently and leading it to prosperity."

"... Whoa..." Neptune placed one hand on the side of her head. "That's one heck of a destiny."

"It will turn out well. Remember that you have the True Goddess' favour. Please hold that close to your heart."

And then Histoire's body was veiled in a white light before she left.

* * *

Many months had passed since then. So many, in fact, that it is now time for the saviour to be born. Our dear Neptune had moved to the town of Davideo with her fiancée Noire. In some nearby fields were some other characters of particular importance. In fact, the True Goddess had sent Histoire to inform them of the birth of the saviour. The three wise men, shepherds, were tending to their flock in the night, which was a rather difficult task for them as they were giant robots (do not forget that this is still Gamindustri). While this sounds like an advantage, there were a lot of sheep to get into their pen and they were all faster than a giant robot.

"Get _in _there, damn it!" shouted Judge as he tried to direct some sheep into the pen. While he got most of them in, one managed to get around him. Surprising, really. One would figure that the sheep wouldn't try to defy him on the account of him looking quite terrifying, resembling a mechanical demon with his black armour, glowing green lines, a long double-bladed axe, large wings and ability to levitate a few inches off the ground. "Argh, I'm sick of this! Trick, get that one!"

"You got it!" Trick, a yellow giant that looked more like a great big yellow teddy dinosaur than an actual robot, reached for the sheep as it ran towards him. It manoeuvred out of his range, however. Most likely because he was sitting down and made no attempt whatsoever to stand up. "Aw! Judge, it got away!"

"Stand up and chase it, you useless sack of fat!" Judge shouted back, giving the sheep a temporary opening to escape from. "Oh _come on!_"

"Hard day, isn't it?" said Brave, a voice of reason within what is, for all intents and purposes, a giant toy that was modelled after a super sentai robot. He also wielded a huge sword that was more than capable of cutting you in half.

"Shut up, pansy!"

Finally, after half an hour, Brave and Judge got all of the sheep in the pen while Trick was still sitting down.

"Right. That's all of them," said Judge as he dusted his mechanical hands. "Trick, you suck."

"Hey!" Trick pointed an offended finger at the black demon robot. "I tried!"

"Really? All I saw you do was _sit on your ass while the flock ran circles around you!_" Judge yelled again.

Fortunately, Histoire was on her way before the conflict could get any worse. Brave was the first to notice the holy light headed their way in the night sky.

"Hey, guys?"

"What?!" shouted Judge angrily.

"What's that?" Brave asked as he pointed at the light.

Both Trick and Judge saw the light but, before they could say anything, Histoire's light appeared in front of them. The light veil then faded away to reveal the blonde purple-clad fairy. "Hello, three..." She stopped talking once she got a good look at who she was talking to. "Oh, my... this is unexpected."

Judge would have rolled his eyes but, being a giant robot with only camera lenses for eyes, he couldn't. "Who are you and what do you want?"

Histoire cleared her throat. "My apologies. I am here to bring you good news that will bring much rejoice throughout the land. The saviour of Gamindustri has been born in a small stable in Davideo. Allow me to show you the way."

Histoire extended her arm towards the stable and a light from the sky shone on it.

Brave didn't particularly like Trick or Judge. However, if he had to choose one of them to keep a secret and there wasn't anyone else within five miles, he'd go with Judge. He was insanely violent and on the verge of a mental breakdown 24/7 but, at the very least, he wasn't Trick. That very tentative "bond" allowed them to glance at each other, signalling between them that this was probably the most tiresomely unexpected thing to happen today.

"What does that have to do with us?" Judge spoke up.

Histoire looked back at him, not expecting such an answer. "I beg your pardon?"

"Why should we care about some kid? And who says that they're going to save Gamindustri?" he continued.

"He is right," added Brave. "While a baby is indeed a wonderful gift, we are rather busy with our flock. Also, I fail to see how this concerns us. Who are you, anyway?"

Histoire's eyes snapped open. "Oh! I am terribly sorry for not introducing us. My name is Histoire. I am a fairy for the True Goddess, who is the mother of the saviour."

"Wait," interrupted Judge, "this saviour's the True Goddess' kid?"

Histoire nodded. "That is absolutely right."

"Eeeee!" Trick could hardly contain himself. "I wanna see it! Brave, can we go? Please, please, please?"

Brave was much like Judge so he too could not roll his eyes. "Well, I suppose we might as well if it is the child of the True Goddess."

Histoire let out a small breath in relief. "I am glad. Follow the light to the stable and you will find a black-haired girl and a pink-haired girl named Noire and Neptune. The saviour is wrapped in cloth and in the manger."

Histoire then rose up into the air. "I may see you again some day. Farewell, three wise men."

As Histoire disappeared into the heavens, the three giants stood there in confused silence.

Finally, Trick looked to his right at Judge and Brave. "Three wise men?"

"Let's not ask," Brave advised.

* * *

Neptune and her beloved Noire were in a stable in the town of Davideo. The both of them were looking down at their newborn baby who was within the manger, wrapped in cloth and sleeping peacefully.

Suddenly, Noire turned to the door when she heard a knock at it.

"I wonder who that could be?" she wondered aloud as she walked to the door. She opened it and found herself looking up.

"Hello. You must be Noire. May we come in?" requested Brave with a standing Trick on his left and a cross-armed Judge on his right.

Noire's response was to slam the door as hard and fast as she could.

"Noirey, who was that?" Neptune inquired.

"No one, Neptune," Noire answered through a forced smile with her back pressed against the door.

"Hey, it took us ages to get here!" Judge shouted. "Let us in!"

"We brought gifts!" Trick continued.

Neptune's head snapped towards the door. "Gifts, you say?"

"Neptune, no!" Noire hissed. "It's a trick!"

"I assure you, it isn't," Brave assured. "We have brought with us myrrh, frankincense and gold as tribute to the baby that will be Gamindustri's saviour."

Neptune's irises somehow changed into bold, green dollar signs. "Gold, you say? Well, why didn't you just say so? Noirey, let 'em in!"

Noire looked ready to rip her hair out.

After a great deal of effort relating to how each of the... "shepherds" were large enough to require two by two doors to enter and the stable only had one door, the three wise men were finally inside the stable.

"I apologise for the inconvenience but we heard of the saviour child from a fairy and we decided we simply had to pay a visit," Brave apologised with a bow.

"Aw, don't sweat it!" Neptune, as normal, was very forgiving. "Now, where's that gold?"

"Right here!" Trick waddled up to Neptune and open the small bag, revealing the precious metal inside. Neptune licked her lips and drooled as she looked at it.

Judge, meanwhile, had made his way to the trough to see the child inside. "Hey, this the kid?"

The others present had gathered around the infant. "Yeppers!" Neptune affirmed. "This here is Neptune's pride and joy! What a cutie, eh?"

"Too true!" Trick enthusiastically agreed. "What cute, cute hair!"

And so the five... not children had gathered around the admirable baby. Each of them had great confidence that Neptune and Noire's offspring would grow up and bring Gamindustri peace and prosperity forevermore. Yes, indeed, Gamindustri's saviour...

* * *

"... would be that man," Mages concluded.

"_AAAAAAAAHHHHH!_" screamed Falcom as she nearly lost her balance sitting on the wooden log. Fortunately, she never fell off and didn't get any dirt on her.

Four individuals were gathered around a campfire in the forest and were sharing horror stories amongst each other in the night. The frightened Falcom had short red hair tied into a ponytail at the back with a big white ribbon, a white tube top, short red sleeves, red short-shorts, red and white shoes, black fingerless gloves with big white cuffs and a large blue scarf around her neck. She was the youngest of the four and she was still getting into the swing of being an adventurer, meaning she did not know much about the world and was relatively easy to frighten.

The storyteller was a slightly older girl by the name of Mages. She wore a pointy witch's hat over her long blue hair, a black dress and a red tie under a white coat, grey stockings reaching up to her mid-thighs and shiny black classy shoes. She was a rather serious person which made her stories all the more terrifying when told through her deadpan voice.

"Whoa! That's a hell of a twist, Mages!" congratulated the tan-skinned CC. She was rather easily identified by her black and white dog tail and her black and white dog hat which also had a pair of goggles with green lenses. If that wasn't enough, she had green hair and eyes, she wore a white tank top, white short shorts and white thigh-high boots, all with green lines framing them. She also wore a pair of white and green thick-cuffed gloves over a pair of black sleeves that went halfway up her biceps. She was quite happy-go-lucky but a bit mischievous.

"A man saving Gamindustri..." Marvelous muttered. "That'd scare the wits out of me any day. I think you went on for a bit long, though." Marvelous was physically the oldest of the four and she seemed rather proud of that. Her rather large bust was hardly covered by her white button-up shirt that was held together by only one button. She wore a black miniskirt and a grey jacket was tied around her waist by its sleeves, a black fingerless glove on her left hand and a thin red ribbon around her neck. Rather odd attire given the cold of the night but oh well.

"I will agree that I took my time telling the story," Mages conceded. "However, I felt it was necessary to get the tone across."

"Well, it scared us so it paid off," CC responded with a smile. "I guess we should all be thankful that we're never going to get a boy saviour."

Even Mages smiled. "I feel not even the most powerful of mages could conjure up such a being."

Falcom, however, felt disturbed by something. "Hey, does anyone feel that?"

Marvelous looked at her oddly. "Feel what?"

And then they heard the screaming from the sky.

"_**SON OF A BIIIIIIII...**_"

And then they saw the ground get impacted by the source of the screaming. Curious, the girls all stood up to take a closer look.

As the smoke cleared, the identity of the screamer was apparent. Or, rather, screamers. There were three of them. One had short black curly hair, a black jacket, a white shirt, beige shorts and black sneakers. Another had short blue hair, black jeans, a white dress shirt and a red tie. The last one had a black and red plaid hoodie, fingerless gloves, loose black pants held up by a chain acting as a belt with a padlock for a buckle.

One by one, the strangers got themselves up off the ground, although injured and fatigued. Once they were upright, they and the girls locked eyes. It was then that the girls realised something.

These strangers were male.

"Hello," greeted the blunette after dusting his clothes with his hands to make himself more presentable. "I'm SF, this," he gestured to the one with the plaid hoodie, "is Glitch and that one," he gestured to the one with curly hair, "is Jacob. Do you-"

"_AAAAAAAAHHHHH!_" screamed all four girls before they ran away in the opposite direction so fast that one could swear they teleported.

This left the boys eating their dust in confusion.

"Well," started Glitch, "I think we know whose fault that was."

Jacob found himself being scrutinised by SF and Glitch. "Hey, what'd I do?"

"You don't look like an anime character. Of course they were scared of you."

"... You suck."

* * *

**Yes, DMAsh and The Puppy Schwag gave me permission to use their OCs. Yes, I know it's not that good. What do you want from me? I wrote this up in less than 10 hours.**

** Merry Christmas to all of you. Or Feliz Navidad. Or whatever you celebrate or call it.**

**EDIT: Probably should've brought this up at the time of posting but oh well. This has absolutely no place in any canon of any game or fanfiction whatsoever. This is a completely stand-alone oneshot that I wrote just for giggles and Jacob, Glitch and SF are there purely because I thought it'd be funny. That is all.**


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